Do you know what love is?
by The madness in me
Summary: You think you know what love is Slayer? Not puppy love, not infatuation not even obsession. I mean love. The kind that transcends everything, so strong you don't even need a soul to feel it. (Version two - with corrections this time) Rated for language.


He was already walking away, too tired and pissed off to deal with the Slayer sneering down at him from her fucking high-horse for the third time this week.

He began to wonder if she was stalking him just to make herself feel better about how shitty her life had become by insulting his.

Her voice was taunting and spiteful, looking for a fight "Look at you, running away can't even fight me verbally let alone any other way. You're so pathetic. No wonder Drusilla left you"

Same as always, he'd heard it all before.

He almost ignored it.

Almost kept walking.

But he could hear the smirk on her face.

The arrogant self righteous smile that made him want to rip her fucking throat out even more than usual.

Without warning Spike whirled around, his furry spilling over in a crashing wave.

"What the hell do you know!?" He snarled.

He was pleased to see her flinch away slightly, surprised by his sudden movement. He didn't bother to bring his fangs out, knowing it would do little to intimidate this woman anyway, but the rage was clear to see on his all too human face.

"I am sick and tired of you going on about me and Drusilla as though you have a fucking clue about us!" He stepped forwards closing the distance between them in an instant.

"What do you think me and Dru were?" The flash of doubt in the girls eyes spurred Spike on as weeks of anger found its release.

"I'm not some love sick little brat who's childhood sweet heart dumped him after moving away Slayer." He spat the title like an insult. She flinched again. "You go around making jokes like she's just some fucking crush who rejected me! Like I'm nothing more than a sullen teenager hanging around moping about it. After all that shit with you and Angel what the _hell_ makes you think you can comment?" Buffy looked ready to shout a retort but Spike cut her off before she could even begin, grateful that vampires didn't breath because it meant he could carry on without a pause.

"You knew him for just over a year... _one_ fucking year!" He barked out a harsh laugh "... and in that time he barely told you a thing about his life. I mean you literally knew nothing! _Centuries_ of history, murder, torture...Darla!" A pang of grief rushed through him for his old friend, even now he couldn't believe that Angelus could have been the one to have killed her; after everything they had been to each other.

"She was his sire! " He screamed in frustration "She was the main focus of his life for the good part of a century and a half, he even went back to her after getting his soul back! Can you even comprehend that? He was willing to put aside his own morality just to be near her and you have the gall to think _you're_ the love of his life?"

Spike laughed again at the hurt he could see brimming in the slayers eyes "Get over yourself!" He hissed running his hand through his hair in frustration he watched the girls expressions, her look of indignation increasing his anger.

"You're what? Nineteen?" It was ridiculous, this girl was practically a child!

"A fucking _vampire_ you barely know pops your cherry and after the whole disappearing soul trick the whole world is stuck listening to you bitching and whining about that curse of his like it's the 'words greatest fucking tragedy'." _and god help him if he hadn't heard that track played one, two, ten, too many times already._

"Oh Boo hoo, I can't shag my boyfriend without him trying to kill me." Spike sneered in disgust.

"Well I've got news for you sweetheart, if it was true love you would have found a way! You would have made it work. Just being near each-other, being content with what little you could have, even if that meant living your life celibate would have been enough." He actually felt a little pity for the bitch. For the first time he had seen her, she looked truly heartbroken. It didn't stop him though

"But you didn't did you?" Spike continued.

"He left, and you stayed here... crying and sulking like you were loves greatest victim.

His brows ceased in irritation "And you throw insults at me like I'm the idiot."

Finally his sadness overrode the rage and Spikes voice dropped to a softer tone "Me and Dru were together for a hundred and eighteen years! We stayed together through wars, plagues and every natural disaster you can imagine. We travelled the world together. Nursed each other through sickness and injury." The weight of those memories was crushing his un-beating heart.

"I knew every detail of her life from birth to death, through to rebirth and un-life and she knew mine." His voice rose again, beginning to crack with grief.

Buffy listened in silence afraid to interrupt.

"I devoted damn near every moment, of every day for over a century to that woman... and I never once turned my back on her. Never once tried to hurt her. Never once betrayed her." He levelled the Slayer with a piercing stare, daring her to comment.

"She was the centre of my world and yes I am fucking devastated to have lost her"

Spike closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath he needed, mentally if not physically, willing himself not to cry in front of this woman.

"You stand there making jokes like it was nothing...you think you know everything about us because you saw a few fucking months of our time together?" The words remained quiet but were forced out through gritted teeth.

"A few months that were more than a bit fucked up by your sodding Boyfriend"

He gave another weak, mocking laugh, too tired to put any real venom behind it "oh I'm sorry, I mean your 'one true love'"

The vampire took another step closer to the shorter blonde. To her credit she didn't flinch again, simply stood her ground as he brought his face close to hers. His next words were spoken softly, almost intimate, in a way that was more terrifying to her than the shouting had been.

"You think you know what love is Slayer? Not puppy love. Not infatuation. Not even obsession."

He brought his hand up to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes "I mean _love_."

The hand dropped "The kind that transcends everything. So strong you don't even need a soul to feel it."

Blue, human eyes held hers trapped "It just burns through you, vicious and intense, so powerful that you feel like you can do anything if you just have that." Buffy didn't notice the first tear as it rolled down her cheek but he did, watched it slide down with detached interest, too lost in his own memories to really care.

"The kind of love you would cross worlds for. The kind of love you cling to as tight as you can and don't let go until it's forcefully ripped away and the loss is so painful.." He took another breath as his voice cracked again "...it brings the world crashing down around you in fucking ruins."

It took a moment for Spike to regain his composure, angry that she had seen him so weak. He decided to throw in his final punches.

"If you and Angel were as destined for each other as you seem to think, he wouldn't have gone... and you wouldn't have let him." He stepped back again and Buffy released a breath she hadn't realised she was holding as the tension in the air snapped.

"Don't ever talk to me about Drusilla again."

Buffy watched the blonde vampire walk away, the cold night air drying the tears on her cheeks.

* * *

I always thought the relationship between Spike and Drusilla deserved more credit than Buffy ever gave it.

This is re-posted from my previous version which several people pointed out was not correct to the timeline. For anyone who read that first version, sorry if took so long.

reviews are appreciated.


End file.
